Many people refer to me as the "better half" of three-time NFL MVP and Super Bowl Champion Brett Favre. But I am also the mother of two beautiful girls-Brittany and Breleigh-and I'm a daughter, a sister, a breast cancer survivor, and a Christian. If you're reading this, odds are you fall into one of these categories as well.
Whether you or someone you know is a survivor of, was recently diagnosed with, or has lost a loved one to breast cancer, please know- you are not alone. You have joined a powerful sorority that is millions strong. Thousands of women, myself included, have walked this path before you, and millions more, myself included, are praying every day for strength, understanding, wisdom, and a cure.
My story
When I was diagnosed with breast cancer in October 2004, I was devastated. I was only thirty-five years old, I had no history of breast cancer in my family, and I was otherwise in excellent health. And because my husband is Brett Favre, my diagnosis was announced on national television, grabbed headlines in newspapers and magazines across the country, and was blasted all over the Internet. Within hours, my private nightmare had become a matter of public record. To make matters worse, my diagnosis came just four days after the funeral for my little brother, Casey, who lost his life in an ATV accident on our property in Mississippi. Less than a year earlier, we had unexpectedly lost Brett's father, Irvin, to a heart attack.
For a family that seemed for all the world to have everything, by October 2004, we were reeling from the punch and counterpunch of one devastating tragedy after another. At first, I resented having my personal tragedies plastered all over the news. It was difficult enough coping with the loss of two loved ones and facing a massive health crisis. But because of Brett's visibility as a national sports figure, our family was going to have to go through all of it with the whole world watching.
Being a God-fearing woman, I never felt it was my place or my right to question God or ask him why I got cancer. Yet I often found myself wondering what God planned to do as a result of my experience.
Some of those answers were revealed during my chemotherapy, when I began to get letters from women all over the country who had heard about my diagnosis and wanted to offer their encouragement and prayers. Many of them were breast cancer survivors themselves, and several had come through situations far worse than mine.
Hearing from these women and knowing that I was in their thoughts and prayers was extremely comforting. But even more affirming were the letters I started receiving from doctors and other health professionals who said that women were coming in to be checked "because of Deanna Favre." When I learned that these checkups resulted in several early detections, I began to understand how God was using my cancer for good.
Since then, I've had countless women approach me and write letters sharing their personal stories-some actually thanking me for "saving their lives" by prompting them to go in and get checked out themselves. I truly believe those women have helped me more than I could ever help them, because they encourage me to continue sharing my story. And through God's hand, my story is helping others. I can't take any credit for it; I'm just happy to be used for his glory.
A new normal
When I finished my last radiation treatment in February 2005, and heard my doctor say that the cancer had been eradicated, I faced a different world. I assumed that I would slip back into my life's comfortable rhythm and purpose, but the very fabric of my existence had forever been changed.
Having gone through cancer, I now look at the world through different eyes. Big things that once seemed so important now seem incredibly trivial. And little things that once seemed so trivial now seem incredibly precious. Something as simple as being able to get out of bed, get dressed, and drive my daughter to school has become a cause for celebration. Sitting with Brett on the sofa, feeling his arms holding me tight-these are things I will never again take for granted.
Today, my "new normal" is a richer, fuller world. I have learned to appreciate the incomparable value of things such as these:
_ A quiet night
_ Friends who accept you when you're at your worst
_ Someone else making dinner
_ A full night's sleep
_ Watching your children live
_ Running errands without feeling like you're running a marathon
_ Giving to others
_ The warmth of a family hug
_ A beautiful day of sunshine
_ A rainy day with puddles
_ Cold, bitter snow
_ Celebrating another holiday, knowing it won't be your last
I have learned that during my darkest moments I'm never alone, because God is always with me. And he has blessed me with a family and friends who give me the strength to survive whatever trials may come my way. I have learned that God can use all things for good-even my personal heartaches-if I will let him. I have learned that you should never take anyone for granted or miss the opportunity to say how much you love them.
I have learned that life is a journey, but the road does not always take you where you think it should. There are twists and turns on the highway of life; there are roadblocks and detours that require tough decisions. But no matter where the road may take you, God will go with you and guide you.
I have learned to cherish three simple words:
_ Faith . . . that God has an ultimate and good plan for my life.
_ Hope . . . for my children, my marriage, and my future.
_ Love . . . for my family and friends, a blessing I will never take for granted.
When all is said and done, only "three things will last forever-faith, hope, and love-and the greatest of these is love" (1 Corinthians 13:13).
The HOPE Foundation
Though Brett and I have been very blessed financially, I still have vivid memories of the days I spent struggling to make ends meet as a single mom. If I'd been diagnosed with cancer back then, I would never have been able to afford the kind of medical care I've received. For example, a single shot of a drug used to increase white blood cells during chemotherapy can run upwards of $3,000! How in the world would someone without insurance ever be able to afford that?
That's why in 2005 I started the Deanna Favre HOPE Foundation to raise funds for uninsured and underinsured women battling breast cancer. Lots of organizations donate money for research; that's why we focus specifically on helping women who are struggling to pay their medical bills and still somehow put dinner on the table.
Part of the proceeds from my book, Don't Bet Against Me! as well as The Pray for a Cure Bible are going to the HOPE Foundation to directly benefit cancer patients. They are simply another means that God has provided to help me bring good out of a period of suffering. "And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them" (Romans 8:28).
What if my cancer recurs?
I know there are no guarantees in this life. I know that cancer can recur, and frankly, I'll be devastated if mine does. When I meet women who are going through chemo for the second or third time, my heart always skips a beat.
I'll be honest-every time I go for a checkup, I hold my breath until I hear them say, "You're clear-everything looks good." If they're a little slow coming out with the results, I always start to think, did they find something?
What if my cancer recurs? To be honest, I'll grieve for a while. And then I'll pick myself up and try to remain positive. I'll focus on following my doctors' advice and getting well. And I'll keep praying.
Because God brought me through cancer the first time and used it for good, I know he could do it again. And someday, when he chooses to take me home, I pray that my passing out of this life will glorify him even more than my remaining in it.
The power of faith and prayer
Some people believe you are as good as dead the moment you receive a cancer diagnosis, but nothing could be further from the truth. According to the American Cancer Society, the percentage of people living five years after a diagnosis of any type of cancer shot up to 66 percent with a diagnosis after 1995 and is continuing to rise. For breast cancer patients the five-year survival rate rose from 75 percent in the 1970's to nearly 90 percent by 2002.1
Bottom line, the future for breast cancer patients is brighter than it has ever been. Why? Largely due to early diagnosis, greater education and awareness, and better, more advanced treatment options.
Of course, there is perhaps no greater tool in the fight against breast cancer than the Bible. There is no greater source of encouragement, comfort, wisdom, and hope than God's Word. As you read through the pages of this extraordinary book, I pray that you will find in God's Word the same peace, comfort, and encouragement I have found.
Faith and prayer have always been a big part of my life. I can't imagine getting through some of the things I've been through-especially breast cancer-without them. Unfortunately, almost all of us are guilty of waiting until something bad happens in our lives before we start to think, Hmmm . . . maybe God can help me with this.
But God is always there. He's like a proud parent when good things are happening for us, and he's a comforting parent when bad things come along. Realizing that you can find comfort in faith is a huge part of getting through tragedy or cancer or whatever you might be going through.
Through Christ, we can do anything within God's will. We can trust that we're going to come out on the other side and everything's going to be okay. This realization gives us a strength we're not capable of on our own. It's huge. I may not know exactly how big or powerful God is, but I know my faith has given me an amazing strength to endure all kinds of things.
I'm not a theologian, but I have learned a few things over the years about faith and prayer. I have learned that faith is more than wishful thinking or even sincere conviction. Faith is a confident trust in God, which is based on a personal relationship with him. Our girls could ask Brett for anything, and if it's within his power and beneficial for them, he would move mountains to answer their request. Why? Because he's their daddy, and he loves them.
If you are a child of God, the same relationship exists between you and the Almighty. He wants to answer your prayers because he loves you. Be prepared, though. Sometimes he answers, "No." Sometimes he answers, "Wait." Sometimes he answers, "Yes." Sometimes as we pray, we are the ones who are changed. As we draw closer to God, our desires and priorities shift-and those changes in us may be the answer to someone else's prayers, or even our own. So don't be afraid to express your deepest feelings to God.
Remember, he loves you and wants to be close to you. He is not unfeeling, and he is willing to forgive. He is not afraid of your feelings or surprised by your questions. He is not too far away to hear. And he will always answer you.
What it means to be a Christian
There are many different definitions of "Christian" floating around out there. Again, I'm no theologian, but I can tell you this-the one unifying characteristic that marks all true Christians, no matter what church they attend, is belief in Jesus Christ. Not long ago, someone sent me a poem. I was delighted when the author, Carol Wimmer, gave me permission to share it with you:
WHEN I SAY, "I AM A CHRISTIAN"
by Carol Wimmer
When I say, "I am a Christian,"
I'm not shouting, "I've been saved!"
I'm whispering, "I get lost!
That's why I chose this way."
When I say, "I am a Christian,"
I don't speak with human pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble-
needing God to be my guide.
When I say, "I am a Christian,"
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak
and pray for strength to carry on.
When I say, "I am a Christian,"
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting that I've failed
and cannot ever pay the debt.
When I say, "I am a Christian,"
I don't think I know it all.
I submit to my confusion,
asking humbly to be taught.
When I say, "I am a Christian,"
I'm not claiming to be perfect.
My flaws are all too visible,
but God believes I'm worth it.
When I say, "I am a Christian,"
I still feel the sting of pain.
I have my share of heartache,
which is why I seek His name.
When I say, "I am a Christian,"
I do not wish to judge.
I have no authority-
I only know I'm loved.2
I love Carol's poem because it expresses such an important truth: we're not perfect. I know I'm not. And God doesn't expect you to be, either. All he wants is for you to believe, trust, and love him as much as he loves you.
If you're not familiar with the Bible, I encourage you to spend some time with it. Start with Matthew, and work your way through the New Testament. By the time you get to Revelation, you'll have a much clearer picture of who Jesus is and what his plan is for you. From there, you might want to read through the Psalms, which are full of comfort, encouragement, and hope.
I hope that one day we will have the opportunity to meet face-to-face so that you can share with me your own personal story of triumph over breast cancer. Until then, I pray that God will be with you in the days and months ahead, that you will come to see him working in your life, that you will share his glory with others, and that you will find peace and healing in him.
May God bless you,
Deanna Favre
